Flatline
by TrinaXO
Summary: When a face from the past returns, secrets are revealed. What is Tony hiding and how will it effect everyone involved. Tony whumping - Gibbs/Tony - Father/son
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my take on why Daddy DiNozzo is coming to see his son in season 7. This is only my second fic, so please be kind. All reviews are greatly appreciated and help to improve my writing. plus i just love them.

This fic is currently un-beated - sorry

Disclaimer: I don't own anything :0)

* * *

Beep…. Beep…. Beep…. Beep…. Beep…………

_**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!**_

I watch in horror, as the scene unfolds before me like a nightmare. Only I know its not, I'm awake and I am brutally aware of this fact. I know this because I just felt myself being shoved as the entourage of medical personnel flood in to the room. I felt it like a pinch, that pinch you give yourself so you know your not dreaming.

"_Code blue__…. I need a crash cart stat"_

I can hear someone yelling, urgency flooding their voice. I can't bring myself to move, I can do nothing but watch as they put shock after shock through his body. The sound makes me jump internally every time I hear it.

"_Push an amp of epi…"_

My mind drifts to the man on the bed, who, if I'm honest with myself means more to me than I let on… Who am I kidding if there is anytime to be honest with myself, its now. Because if I wait too much longer it might be too late, my words will hold no meaning…. Maybe it already is… No I can't think like that.

"_Tony, Come on…Son…Fight" _although there are spoken at merely a whisper, I put as much urgency, affection, love and hope into them as I can. Now isn't the time for my usual second B for bastard routine.

"_I've already lost one family…I can't lose you too__."_

"…_Shit! __ Were loosing him"_

I know who is to blame for all this, and the bastard is down the hall in another room blissfully unaware of the goings on. That Bastard who walked back into Tony's life after all these years and demanded of him, what we all knew could kill him.

I want to go down to that room, and beat the crap out of him, that man who calls himself a father – that man who for years threw away the best thing that happened to him. I want to put all my frustrations, anger, sadness, rage, despair, in to pummelling him. I'll do it. I do it for Tony. If he dies the consequences wont matter nothing will. But in my mind I know it wont help.

"_Charge again 360…"_

Logically I know I cant really do those things, this was Tony, valiant, stupid, Tony. And this was his decision, he went through with this, he knew the risks the surgery would have. Especially with the increased risk of complications with the aesthetic on his plague scarred lungs. We drummed that into him Ducky and I, made sure he knew the risks. He knew. I can feel the rage bubbling up inside me, screaming to get out. I know why I'm angry and it has nothing to do with blaming anyone, it's because I'm worried…. Aw hell, I'm not just worried, I'm scared. Scared is not a word usually associated with me, gruff, bastard, and cold, Yes, but not scared. Yet I am. Scared that I'll loose him before I get a chance to tell him how I feel, scared of living a life without him. Just like Shannon and Kelly. Scared of losing another friend another child…Damn I should of told him, I should of told him someone cared other than just because they wanted some extra body parts- Damn that bastard of a man. I should have told him I cared, given him a reason to fight, a reason to stay.

"_Fight son…__ Fight this!... Come on DiNozzo…. Come on Tony!_" Again my words are drowned out by the commotion in the room, but I can always hope that somehow my message is getting through.

I wonder what he would think of this.

"_I saw this in a movie boss, I've seen it a million times__. The hero goes into the hospital, and while there gets hooked up to a machine that beeps along. As long as that machine is beeping, and the jagged lines on the monitor and go up and down in a heart beat rhythm everything is fine._

_But then suddenly, the beeping becomes erratic and the lines on the machine jump up and down rapidly, without rhythm, until finally the lines flatten out and the machine lets out a long sustained beep. The room suddenly bursts with people and someone yells ' CODE BLUE', all these hot nurses are around, and boss, I mean HOT!......."_

A small chuckle escapes my lips, inappropriate I know. I think I must be loosing my mind, but that would be exactly what DiNozzo would be looking for, the hot nurses. I make note to tell him about the nurses in his room now he wouldn't be disappointed. I'll tell him when he wakes up.

"_SHIT…SHIT…SHIT....!"_ I can hear the Doctor cursing; the urgency in the room steps up a notch again, if that's even possible.

If he wakes up…No I cant think like that, so I continue with DiNozzo's movie reference in my head.

"_Any way boss, __inevitably a defibrillator will be wheeled in and the macho Dr steps in yelling 'Charge to 360' he pauses before yelling 'Clear' and delivering his shock to our hero. Most of the time the hero will be revived and the beeping and regular jagged lines on the machine's screen restart. But sometimes, sometimes………."_

Sometimes not. I finish off his reference for him. I can feel the hot tears as they start to fall; I'm crying now and for the first time in the years since Shannon and Kelly died, I don't care who sees. The alarms are still screaming, people are still rushing around; I can here the sounds of the shocks as they continue through his body. And yet there's an eerie calm settling around me. I look up at the monitor above the bed

…There's nothing, not beat, no pulse, nothing… Flatline…

"_Once more, give it one more try…. Charge to 360 again………Clear…"_

_

* * *

Let me know what you think... Shall I continue?_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Dedicated to-**

**William James Young**

**11/23/2009**

**"If I have seen further than others, its because I stood on the shoulders of giants"**

**Forever in out hearts poppy.**

* * *

There was a distorted dreamlike quality to the hospital room, no sound, no movement, nothing. Leroy Jethro Gibbs looked over to the empty space where the hospital bed once stood. The machines, which had once screamed and wailed at the lack of life signs, were now silent - disconnected leads hanging loosely.

Memories of the last half hour flashed through his mind, the sounds of the shocks being pulsed through Tony's unresponsive body reverberated in his ears and struck every chord of his soul.

Gibbs was frozen to the spot, unable to move; unable to leave the room where he watched his latest nightmare unfold in horrific detail.

Gibbs was pulled from his memories by a familiar Scottish brogue.

"Jethro," the older gentleman placed a firm hand on the ex-marines shoulder, "Jethro, you need to come with me now." Dr (Ducky) Mallards tone was soft and drained as he tried to rouse a response in his friend. "There are some papers you need to sign for Anthony."

Ducky sighed as he led his friend from the stark empty room, Gibbs had yet to utter a word to anyone, and the normally brash exterior of the man had been replaced by a look of shock and desolation. Seeing Tony on the brink of death had seriously shaken the normally infallible man. Yes Tony was alive, but barely and the Doctors did not hold high hopes that the young man would stay that way. Halting the man in the corridor the elderly M.E gave him a few moments to compose himself before facing his team; the team would need its leader, Gibbs knew this, so he would put on a brave face for them despite the fact his world was spinning wildly out of control.

It took a few minutes for Gibbs to compose himself, settling his breathing and banishing the haunted look from his eyes. Eyes that had seen his friend, his '_son'_ struggle for life, eyes that had the images permanently burned into them. Gibbs had been faced with the horror of death on many occasions, but this, this was different, this was family; this was Tony. And not since the death of his beloved Shannon and Kelly had anything hit him so hard or so relentlessly, he was in shock, shock at watching the machines flatline, shock at the torrent of emotions flowing through his body anger, sadness, despair and love. Yes love; for as much as he had been trying to blindside that particular emotion in regards to his senior agent, there it was, and with dawning realisation Gibbs saw that perhaps he had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life by pushing Tony away, not telling him how he regarded the younger man as a son.

Gibbs struggled to get hold of his emotions; there were only two people who he could trust to see him in this state, one was standing at his side, the other, well... The rest of the team could not see how he was crumbling inside, he needed to be strong.

"Tell me Duck, what are his chances." Gibbs scrubbed a hand down his face, he needed to know, it had been close, too close – _still was._

"I won't sugar coat this for you Jethro, I know you wouldn't appreciate it. The internal bleeding from transplant complications coupled with the effect of anaesthesia on his already scarred lungs caused his respiratory and cardiac arrest. Anthony, the dear boy, was revived as you know, and was rushed straight back into surgery to repair the damage and stem the bleeding. The issue with this is that they needed to anesthetise him again, and considering his body is already in a weakened state, and the effect the previous anaesthetic had on him, the Dr's are not giving him great odds for surviving the surgery". Ducky told his dear friend the facts in the most simplistic way he could, knowing that all the medical jargon would be not be understood.

An audible wince came from the man as he took in the information "A number Duck, give me a number, 80 percent chance, 50 percent?" Gibbs voice was rough and strained, and Dr Mallard could see the emotions swarming in the piercing blue gaze

"Oh Jethro, I am truly sorry." The pain written on his friends face stabbed at his heart, "The doctors are giving him a less than 10 percent chance. They will do as much as they can; the rest is up to Anthony. And they do not know our remarkable young man like we do, if there is a chance, you know Anthony will fight."

"Shit!"

Less than 10 percent chance, these were worse odds than when Tony had contracted the plague those years ago, sure he had defied the odds then, he'd fought and won, but this time Tony wasn't aware that there was anything left worth fighting for.

He was used by his father, (and the term 'Father' was used loosely), bullied into becoming nothing but spare organs for the man under the pretence that his father wanted to repair his relationship with his son. Tony had found out the hard way just before the surgery that the 'relationship' meant nothing and was just another rouse of manipulation his father used to get what he wanted. The team, Tony's real family, had been slowly pushing him away, ignoring him, unconsciously shutting him out with cutting comments until it left him questioning his place on the team. Tony, who despite his teasing nature and the playboy persona he had placed up as a mask, had always had their six; and they had forgotten. And Gibbs himself, he was not much better; he had heard the comments from both McGee and Ziva, and, like everyone else focused on Tony's happy-go-lucky outward attitude, missing the pain in Tony's eyes as another comment cut deep. Worse than this however, Gibbs had distanced himself from the younger man, despite the fact Tony was looking towards him to give some affirmation of his place in the team Gibbs had pushed Tony away. It had been done in an attempt to quash the feelings he had developed, wanting to keep himself from allowing someone into his heart, kidding himself that it was for the best. And now Tony, the man he thought of as a son was paying the price. Now Tony thought he had nothing left to fight for, no reason to stay.

Gibbs let out a roar of frustration, his fist slamming into the wall of the hospital corridor; he was angry at himself, angry at the situation, angry with Tony's bastard of a father. Gibbs started down the corridor towards DiNozzo Snr's room, ready to tear the man a new one, when the familiar hand grasped his shoulder again stopping him in his tracks.

"Jethro, Don't!" Although Ducky's voice was low a mere whisper really, it held authority "The team needs you. You need to be here when the doctors fill us in on Anthony's condition and most of all.... Anthony needs you here watching his six, as the dear boy would put it. His father will wait."

Gibbs sighed; his shoulders slumped as he leant against the wall. Ducky was right he needed to be here. And yes, Tony's father could wait. After a few more moments, Ducky led the senior agent down the corridor towards the waiting team. As the elderly M.E stopped to talk to some of the medical personnel, Gibbs thought back to how they had gotten here, to this place of despair. He thought back to when this whole nightmare had started...

* * *

Three weeks earlier...

Gibbs stood surveying his agents as they worked quietly in the bullpen, it had been a slow week and they were now using the time to catch up on the long forgotten paper work that had piled up over the months. McGee was on the phone talking in hushed tones; Ziva was reading through case files and Tony, well, Tony was typing at his usual two fingered pace staring intently at his computer screen.

Everything was as it should be, the bullpen was quiet, his agents were working and he had a steaming hot cup of coffee sitting at his desk, and yet for some unknown reason he couldn't stop his gut from churning, something was wrong.

The ping of the elevator was heard through the quietness of the bullpen and announced the arrival of someone to the floor, Gibbs watched as a silver haired man in an expensive looking suit emerged from the opening doors, his posture stiff and intimidating, the look on his face bore no argument; he was here for a purpose.

"I'm looking for Anthony DiNozzo." The man spoke, steel in his voice.

At the mention of his name Tony looked up from where he was seated, his expression hardened and eyes grew dark as he saw the man striding towards him. Tony roughly threw his chair back as he crossed over to where the man now stood a look of pure loathing on his face; drawing back a fist Tony punched him squarely in the jaw, before storming off in the direction of the stairs. He spoke no words even as the shocked gasps resonated throughout the office. The older man stumbled to the ground, momentarily dazed and grasped the side of his face where Tony's fist had connected with force, cursing in what sounded like Italian the man stood and stormed off after the younger man.

"_**DiNozzo!"**_Gibbs barked loudly, causing the eyes that were on the retreating men to turn his way instead.

Tony didn't stop, he didn't turn around or even flinch at the sound of Gibbs angry voice, he just kept walking and disappeared down the stairwell.

"McGee! Ziva! Do either of you know, what the _**hell**_ that was about?" Gibbs voice was harsh and his blue eyes blazed as he stood to follow his senior agent – _An agent whom seemed to have had a major brain snap._

Ziva looked shocked and shook her head.

McGee looked pale, eyes wide at what he just saw. "Umm, B-Boss," he stammered stopping Gibbs in his tracks "Uhh, while you and Tony were with Abby, I...Ahh.... Security called said that man, was here to see Tony. I told them to send him up.... I - I didn't know..."

"Spit it out McGee, who was that?" Gibbs snapped quickly losing patience with the younger mans stammering; he needed to catch up to Tony before he made things worse for himself, he needed to find out what the hell was going on.

"It, well......I didn't think...That man, that man is Tony's dad..."

* * *

AN: I apologize for the delay in updating, my pop (granddad) passed away after a short illness.

This story is currently un-beated so sorry for any mistakes :0(

Thank you to everyone who reviewed for the last chapter I am humbled by the response to the story. Thank you all. I did try and get back to each one of you, sorry if i missed anyone.

Please review, it really makes my day when you drop me a line or two and i love the feedback, so let me know what you think, shall i keep going, did you like it?


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, kind words and sympathy you have all bestowed on myself and my family. It means so much and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I have met and made so many wonderful friends on this site it is very humbling.

* * *

_That man is Tony's dad._

Those few words ran over and over through Gibbs mind as he made his way down the stairwell to search for his wayward agent, he was pissed that was for sure but at the same time he was puzzled, what had happened between the two men that would lead to such an extreme act on Tony's part. Gibbs had gathered by the few comments Tony had let slide over the years, that the relationship had been strained for a long time, and that Tony's childhood was less than stellar, Gibbs had his own theory on that but nothing had ever been confirmed.

Entering the parking garage he could hear the echoes of strained voices and saw Tony's tense stance as he faced his father, staying out of sight_ just in case Tony needed back up_ _Gibbs told himself_, he listened intently to the conversation, although the voices were not spoken at a yell he could make out the words clear enough.

DiNozzo Snr was fuming, his head and jaw throbbing with pain, how dare that ungrateful, worthless bastard humiliate him in front of all those people, he was Anthony DiNozzo Snr, multi-millionaire and most powerful man in Long Island, _no one showed him disrespect!_ He wanted nothing more than to see his '_son'_ pay for that act of disrespect with his life, however, like it or not he had to keep Tony alive and agreeable for the time being until he got what he wanted, Anthony DiNozzo always got what he wanted and this time it wasn't a matter of throwing money at it. With that in mind he tried to bury his anger, and school his features, to pull this off Tony had to believe… and Anthony had to play a part. Oh, he would get his revenge for the humiliation all right, it would satisfying to build Tony up, and then watch as he crumbled once he realised what was happening. DiNozzo Snr laughed sadistically to himself - Let the games begin.

"Son, we need to talk." DiNozzo Snr's voice was hard, his stance just as tense as his son's, and Gibbs could already see the blossoming bruise forming on the mans face.

Tony let out a sarcastic chuckle "Ha. Firstly you have never called me son so you can cut the bullshit '_Father'_ no one else is here for you to impress. Secondly I distinctly remember the last time we 'talked' it ended with me getting a visit by the family Dr, a three-day holiday in the hospital and a week later suitcases were packed with a one way ticket to Rhode Island Military Academy. The only other contact we have had was your lawyers telling me you had officially disowned me and your goon's regularly threatening me not to mention any of your indiscretions. Oh yeah, and how could I forget, acting on those threats on your behalf just to prove what you could do. So tell me '_Sir_', why exactly would I want to 'talk' with you?" Tony spat the last part of his tirade with venom.

DiNozzo Snr's eyes flashed with fury his composure, his game face, slipped momentarily; his voice was deadly "Enough! You and I _will_ talk, and you _will_ listen or so help me I'll…"

"You'll what… Huh… I'm not that same little boy you could bully and beat into submission, I grew up and, as you already know, I can fight back now." Tony clenched and unclenched his fist at his side as memories of the beatings delivered at his father's hand flashed before him. The air was thick with tension, and neither man spoke for a few minutes; they just looked at each other. Gibbs watched as Tony regained his calm and composure before speaking again his tone softer almost weary, "Look, just go. Leave now, I really don't want to hear it ok."

Tony turned to walk away, and DiNozzo Snr put a hand on his shoulder, Tony stiffened at the contact and Gibbs swore he saw a brief hint of fear flash through his senior agents eyes.

"Anthony, wait... Please. I'm Sorry. We truly need to talk it is important, there are some things I need to say, and things you need to hear." The change in DiNozzo Snr's demeanour was astounding; from furious and demanding to almost well… pleading, he was changing his tactic. To all outward glances it seemed that DiNozzo Snr was sincere, but something twisted at Gibbs gut warning him this would not end well.

Tony gave an audible sigh, "Ok… But not now, ill meet you after work. "

DiNozzo Snr nodded his acceptance and handed his son a business card "Thankyou… Call me when you are done, ill come to you." And with that he walked from the parking garage.

Tony stood unmoving as he watched the retreating form of his father. He was perplexed with himself as to why he had agreed to meet with the other man, but the look on his fathers face as he said his name 'Anthony' struck something inside, something that Tony had kept dormant for years, perhaps his dad wanted him for something and it was the word wanted that stuck in his mind… After so many years Tony had given up on himself and that word ever being correlated…. _Your screwed up in the head DiNozzo, the guy beats the crap out of you for years, abandons you, you never speak or have any contact apart from his 'warnings', yet you let him have his way and agree to meet him still searching for his approval…. Why is that? Same thing with Gibbs, the man has been pushing you away for months and yet your still loyal, pining like a little lost puppy for his attention…. Pathetic_…. Tony let out a frustrated roar and punched the concrete column, fortunately he was too numb to feel anything as his fist connected with force – Gibbs winced at the sound the hit made. _Just like daddy hey DiNozzo, lashing out with your fists when angry… Gibbs would be oh so proud…_

_And speaking of Gibbs…_

"How long have you been there, and how much did you hear Boss?" Tony pulled himself from his thoughts, and spoke with out turning around.

Gibbs was momentarily stunned as Tony addressed him, he didn't even realize he'd been made. Pulling himself from where he was standing – _Hiding_ – Gibbs crossed over to the younger Agent.

"Long enough Tony… Why didn't you say anything?" Gibbs had heard enough of the conversation to pull together that Tony's father had been physically abusive to Tony as a boy; by the tone of the conversation it had been a regular occurrence. Not to mention Tony was apparently getting 'warnings' from his father even now.

Tony knew exactly why he hadn't mentioned anything to his boss or team, it was one thing for his father to threaten him and have his goon's pay him a visit occasionally, Tony could handle that; however when the threats had been aimed at his boss and team – his surrogate family, Tony knew he had to protect them at any cost. Tony had been down that track before many, many, years ago well before NCIS and he knew first hand what would happen to those he loved if he tried to bring his father down. - Oh yes, there was more that just the beatings up of his son that DiNozzo Snr kept hidden.

"It's not exactly a conversation starter boss, Hi, how are you? By the way did you know my father beat me to a pulp at every chance he got… "

Gibbs cut him off, "God damn it Tony you know what I mean…." He immediately regretted opening his mouth as he saw Tony closing up in front of his very eyes, the carefree mask slipping over Tony's persona, effectively ending the conversation.

"Oh well boss, don't have to worry about conversation starters now, the whole bullpen saw the latest DiNozzo version of fight club." Tony gave his usual flippant remark shaking off all remnants of his previously haunted look, he grinned brightly the mask firmly in place though the smile didn't reach his eyes as he went to leave.

"DiNozzo" Gibbs barked before softening his tone "Tony, go down to autopsy get Ducky to check your hand and stay there, I'll be down soon.", Gibbs could see the hand swelling already and wanted to make sure the bonehead hadn't broken anything. His previous anger at Tony's actions had melted away upon finally finding out the truth of what had happened to Tony as a boy as he could now understand why acted as he did.

"Boss really I'm Fi…" Tony began to protest before a glare from Gibbs changed his mind "On it boss…"

Gibbs watched as Tony walked over to the elevator, and sighed, he had spent the last few months actively pushing Tony - the man he saw as a son, but couldn't bring himself to admit it to the younger man much less fully acknowledge it himself – away.

However seeing Tony and his father's relationship had struck a chord with the gruff ex-marine his gut all but screamed at him, something was going on, and he had to protect Tony…

* * *

AN: So here it is chapter 3, let me know what you think if you liked it or not? Pretty please review I love to read them all and they really help to make the story better and keep me motivated.

Also Just in case I don't get another chance to post a chapter before Christmas, please, all of you have a Safe and Happy Christmas, best wishes to you all.. XOX


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hoping those who celebrated Christmas had a safe and happy holiday. Thankyou again to all those who reviewed and alerted, not as many reviews as before but hopefully this chapter will inspire you all to send me a line...

Warning: flashback of child abuse in this chapter....

* * *

He could hear their raised voices from out in the hall; he knew this was his fault. If only he hadn't been playing hide and seek with the staff, if only he had of kept quiet, if only he hadn't told his mother where the large bruise on his back – a clear shoe print - had come from…. Peering through the crack in the huge oak door to his fathers study, he could see them clearly, his father stalking around the office face full of rage, his mother standing still in the middle of the room her back to the door.

His mothers voice was strong and lacked the usual alcohol induced slur, which had become her 'accent' while at home.

"For years I have kept silent, silent through all the shady business deals, silent through your affairs, but this…. This is unforgivable. I may not be the best mother, but I will not stand by…."

Little Anthony DiNozzo heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh, and heard the pleading of his mothers voice through her tears.

"Please, please not my son, not _**our**_ son…"

"Enough!" his father roared, "Do not ever refer to that worthless piece of filth as my son, ever! Do you hear me?" His mother made no reply, as she sobbed holding her hand gently to her already bruising cheek.

"I said, Do. You. Hear. Me?" His fathers voice was shaking with anger his eyes cold, dark and glazed over as he raised a fist towards mother again.

"NO!" before he knew what he was doing, Anthony had thrown open the door and rushed in, small fists pounding at his father in all his 8year old fury, "Leave her alone!" he screamed as he continued to fight, he could smell the overpowering scent of alcohol on his father's breath as the older man grabbed him roughly and threw him to the floor, delivering a swift painful kick to his side.

His mother was screaming at him,

"Anthony, run. Go and get help._** RUN**_!" her voice was desperate, urging him to go. Getting up from the floor his head swam and his side burned as he raced towards the open door. Too slow. He felt the large rough hand on his shoulder spinning him around, his head connecting with the corner of the large oak desk, and with a sickening crack he knew no more as the darkness took over.

Tony woke with a start, eyes adjusting slowly to the dark room. His hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, body trembling slightly as he cleared the nightmare borne of memory from his mind. It had been sometime since his slumber had been broken by memories; however with the return of his 'father' and their almost nightly discussions over the past week those nightmares had returned with a vengeance and with them memories he would of preferred to forget.

Looking at the illumination of his clock on the nightstand he noted the time 3am… Raising slowly from his bed he crossed to his bathroom flicking on the light he was momentarily startled at its brightness, - _God I look like crap _- he thought as he caught his refection in the mirror, dark circles under his eyes, pale complexion and a sheen of sweat glazing his face and chest, he felt the familiar pangs of pain behind his eyes signalling the beginnings of a headache, at least however after a week his hand was on the mend - _small mercies_. Knowing he would no longer be able to sleep he showered changed and decided to head to the one place he felt comfortable, the one place he could think about his conflicting emotions as his conscience waged war on itself, the one place, his home, the naval yard and N.C.I.S.

* * *

Gibbs was restless, and now not even the normally calming action of sanding his beloved boat could settle him. It was 3am, 3 hours until he would leave for N.C.I.S and once again sleep was elusive. His gut was warning him of something but he couldn't place what it was, he knew whom it entailed to, that was easy, there was only one person that could instil such a worry inside him - his senior field agent. What he didn't know was why exactly.

Tony's father had returned and after a brief altercation and a heated discussion in the parking garage things looked to be going ok. To all outward appearances DiNozzo Snr seemed to be making an effort to re-connect with his son. _Surely this couldn't be the reason for his own discord_ – Gibbs thought to himself

Tony had briefly mentioned the reason his father had returned after so many years of lost contact and they seemed quite valid, Tony had said that recently his father had been diagnosed with acute liver disease brought on by years of alcoholism and now, despite being sober for the last 8 years, he had been given less than 3 months to live unless a suitable donor could be found. In light of this new issue DiNozzo Snr had decided to try to patch things up with his son while he still could, he apparently didn't hold high hopes of a suitable donor being found in time.

Gibbs being Gibbs had asked Ducky to find out what he could about DiNozzo Snr's medical history, to check if there had been any truth in what the man told Tony, and according to Ducky's findings it had indeed been. Now Gibbs was at a loss to explain his gut feeling. Something didn't add up, yes DiNozzo Snr's reasons were valid for wanting to see his son, but Gibbs still couldn't help it there was something inherently wrong about a man whom, alcoholic or not, beat his son constantly and even now, until quite recently had apparently been giving his 'son' warnings. Gibbs had tried to get information regarding these 'warnings' and further information on what he had overheard in the parking garage; but when Tony clammed up and shrugged it off as nothing, Gibbs had barked and told his senior field agent he didn't want it effecting the team, which of course only sent the younger man into deeper silence on the topic. Perhaps, Gibbs thought, he should have tried a different tactic shown Tony he cared about _**him**_, not just the job. Shared some of his feelings of worry over the younger man instead of slipping into his usual bastard routine. But what was done, was done and now Gibbs was left with that all too familiar feeling of unease.

* * *

As Gibbs walked into the squad room he could hear the conversation going on between his agents pausing behind the partition separating his team from the others he listened intently, apparently Ducky and himself were not the only ones to have a dig into DiNozzo Snr's medical history. Upon hearing his reasoning for turning up so unannounced, McGee and Ziva had done some digging of their own and they in turn were now questioning Tony. However Tim and Ziva were not privy to all the information on the relationship between Tony and his father (namely the beatings, as Tony had specifically asked Gibbs not to mention anything to anyone) and now they could not understand why Tony hadn't thought to help the older man.

"You could help him yes, become a donor give him part of your liver?" Ziva was sitting at her desk, eyes boring into Tony's head as he sat silently, pretending to work and ignoring his co-workers questions.

"She is right Tony, your young relatively fit despite all that crap you eat, and you're his son, perfect donor." McGee was looking slightly smug at Tony's obvious discomfort.

"Look Probie, Zee-Vah, Just drop it ok? I'm trying to work, you guys should try it sometime, especially before 'he-who-shall-not-be-named' comes back and Gibb-slaps you both upside the head." Tony tried to mask his feelings with his usual flippant remark, but Gibbs could see the tension in his shoulders and the lines around his eyes as he struggled for composure, it was time to put this to an end.

"For once DiNozzo's right, back to work all of you." Gibbs barked as he walked to his desk. Casting a glance in Tony's direction he was glad to see 'his boy' had relaxed slightly now that particular conversation topic had been dropped. Well at least he thought it had been dropped anyway until McGee opened his mouth.

"I just don't get it Tony, why won't you help him? He's your Dad."

That was it, Tony eyes turned dark and flashed dangerously, the façade he had been trying to hold in place the past few days shattered, the emotions he had been feeling bubbled over as he stood and eyed McGee, Tim visibly shrank in his seat.

"No McGee" Tony spoke and although his voice was quiet it held a dangerous undertone "He is _**not**_ my 'dad' he is my 'father', dad's don't beat the tar out of their kids every god-damn day." And with that Tony stood and stormed out of the bullpen for the second time that week.

"Goddammit McGee you just had to push him, didn't you?" Gibbs was pissed again and his tone of voice let the younger man know it. McGee had the sense at least not to reply, instead him and Ziva both looked totally shocked at Tony's latest admission.

"Both of you stay there. Do. Not. Move." Gibbs instructed as he left to find Tony once again, they needed to talk and this time he was going to get some answers, there would be no sidestepping.

* * *

Next chapter - Gibbs and Tony have a little chat, let me know what you want to see and ill try include some of it..

As always let me know what you thought, please review i love them, I'm a little obsessed with them i keep refreshing my inbox every 5 minutes ;0) so pretty pretty please review. Let me know if your still liking the story!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I am so, so sorry for making you all wait so long for this chapter, I had originally set out to post it just after posting the last chapter of my other story Consequences of Caring. Unfortunately for me I ended up in hospital and have only been out for three days, so pretty please forgive me!!!

I originally said this was the chapter where Gibbs and Tony would have a talk, however I really think this part needed to come first. I hope you enjoy reading and hope it gives you some insight on Tony and what his father may be hiding. Also as of the airing of Flesh and Blood (what an episode loved the Gibbs and Tony moments especially the final scene) this is now AU!

* * *

He needed to leave before he did something he would regret. Sure Gibbs would ream him out about it later, but leaving truly was the best alternative compared to what he would do to if he stayed. The only safe way to vent his frustrations was down in the gym. Then tonight, when he wasn't on the clock he would fall into his failsafe, reruns of Magnum and enough beer to numb his mind. But for now he had the gym, and just for a brief moment he would let his thoughts and memories run.

*****Flashback********

He knew he shouldn't be here, his father had told him never to interrupt him while he was working, but he was supposed to take his medication. His mother while in her lucid state and their house keeper Maria had drummed into him how important it was, and now, no one was around to get it for him. Cautiously he cleared his throat and opened the door to the study, "Excuse me si....." his voiced broke at the sight, the naked women in his father's office was definitely not his mother, but at least he found Maria.  
"YOU!..." His father roared rushing toward him anger burning in his eyes as he grabbed the small arm twisting it brutally. Tony screamed as he heard the crack and felt the pain burn through his arm. Tears streaming down his face he gritted his teeth as he yanked his arm from the older man and ran as fast as he could, ran to find his....

Mother was drunk again; he could hear her slurred words as she yelled outside his bedroom, continually stumbling over and finding it increasingly hard to keep her balance with the alcohol coursing through her veins.  
"It's over, you hear me. Over! The cheating, the shady deals I can handle. But Anthony, he's only 8.... No more. I have all the evidence I need to bring you down, you disgust me..." Watching the scene from his doorway, Tony saw his mother spit in his father's face. And then his dad lost it. Tony watched in horror as his father grabbed his mother, brutally dragged her down the stairs and out the front door, bundling her in the car and taking off down the driveway. An hour later his father returned, in a different car, _without_ his mother. He knew the moment the officers arrived at the house, and he saw his father put his game face on that his mother's death would be ruled an accident. Anthony's little heart broke as he watched the flashing of blue and red....

Lights flashed before his eyes as another punch landed on the side of his cheek.  
"A warning from your father Anthony, perhaps you should learn to keep your mouth shut and stay out of trouble."  
Another blow landed painfully to his gut this time, his breath came out with a hiss. How did his father know, he had been careful only gathering small pieces of evidence at a time. He had nothing concrete yet, nothing even close to the information he would need to bring senior down.  
So how did his father know? The hired help laughed mercilessly as the blows reigned down, DiNozzo Snr just watched on.  
"Well Anthony, let that be a lesson to you, stay out of my business or you might need another visit from my....."

Friends, that's what they were. They had been through the Police Academy together and now, here they were, graduating and about to start celebrating the next stage of their lives. John, Pete and Jess stood together, shoulder to shoulder with him through all the joy, all the trials and he loved them for it. For the first time in his life he could really open up, for the first time he felt truly at home. Sitting around on his couch drink in hand he watched his friends and they laughed and joked, then without warning the conversation changed, his friends glanced at each other before Jess spoke up.  
"Tony," she began softly "we found the file, we know about your father."  
'File' and 'father' were the words that hit him; he lost his grip on the glass he was holding and it fell to the ground and....

Shattered was a good way to describe how he was feeling, combine that with shock, grief, guilt, anger and a desperation that clouded his very soul. All these emotions and more swirled around inside him as he finally lay to rest John, the last of his friends to be buried after the horrible accident that claimed his three friend's lives. It _had_ been ruled an accident, however Tony was not so sure, something wasn't right and he had a feeling his father had played a very large part in that 'accident', it was all to coincidental happening so soon after his friends had approached him about the file they had found. He vowed to himself that he would catch the bastard of a man and make him pay, he would continue his work and bring senior down. He also vowed that he would never again risk getting close to anyone again – _the risk far outweighed any benefit - _as soon as he felt himself getting comfortable somewhere he would leave. After all it wasn't like he had anyone to worry about him if he did leave, his friends were gone and he had no....

Family, somewhere along the line he had slipped up and now his team at N.C.I.S had become something he had always wanted, but could never safely have. He was still investigating his father on the side, but now he would have to be extra cautious, they could never know. He could not lose them too; he had to protect them, even if it killed him.

------ END FLASHBACK-----------

As the entourage of memories came to an end he continued to think about his next move, Gibbs would want to know what was going on, want to know what had happened, if only to stop it from interfering in his work. But he couldn't let him in yet, in his years of working at N.C.I.S the older man had become more of a father figure to him than his own flesh and blood – _of course Gibbs did not know that, and definitely share didn't those feelings _– but that's how it was. Tony really couldn't risk his friends finding out. Not yet it wasn't safe, but soon, he was so close to brining senior down. Perhaps after his meeting with Krista and the final piece of evidence he needed was given to him - _the piece that would finally nail the bastard _– then he might at long last be able to let his team, his family in, but for now everything was still too risky, Senior was a slippery SOB and Tony couldn't jeopardise anything until he was sure there was no escape.

Tim and Ziva hadn't understood, sure they didn't know about the beatings he had endured – _they do now_ – Tony thought bitterly, but that was not the only reason he reacted as he had. He was conflicted, they thought he hadn't realised what a perfect match his liver would be for his father; however that couldn't be further from the truth. The issue now was his conflicting emotions on his motives. He had already made up his mind; he would go through with the transplant surgery, but why? Was it because of his sick, twisted mind which sought approval off the man – _off anyone_ - despite everything he knew about him, the abuse, the shady deals, the deaths of those he loved? Was it because for once in his life he was actually wanted by his father - _sure it was only for body parts_ - but _**wanted**_ that was something Tony had never thought he would be? - _Anthony you truly are damaged – _Or perhaps it was more to do with justice, justice for those his father had hurt over the years and the promise he had made to himself that he would bring his 'father' down.. Tony was no fool he knew that death would be the easy way out for his father; somethings in life were worse than death and for Anthony DiNozzo Snr that would be losing face before his peers, losing his fortune and jail. Maybe that was the reason, he honestly didn't know and maybe he never would. But for now he would run, run out his frustrations, anger and sadness until there was nothing left. He was always running - he knew no better.

* * *

Gibbs was relieved to find Tony's beloved car still in its spot in the parking garage. That at least was a good sign, it meant Tony was still in the building and there was only one place an angry, frustrated DiNozzo would go, the gym. Gibbs hoped the bonehead had enough sense to stay off the punching bag, his hand wasn't broken but if he went at it with his usual ferocity it soon would be.

The gym was silent except for the slapping of feet as Tony ran out his frustrations, anger and whatever those other emotions were Gibbs saw in haunted green eyes. Gibbs watched silently from the sidelines content to let him go a little longer, it was only when Tony's breath caught and he stumbled slightly that Gibbs spoke up, none of his usual gruffness in his voice.

"Tony.... You can stop running now."

Those few words held more weight than either man could comprehend, but it was the reply that shattered Gibbs to the very core of his soul and opened up a truth no one was really ready to face.

"I...... I don't think I can Boss."

* * *

There you go, will Tony tell Gibbs the truth? You'll find out soon!

Tell me what you thought and give me lots of reviews to read while Im stuck in bed, they keep me sane!

The next chapter will be up as soon as possible, but please be patient as I have a few trips to the hospital planned out for the next few weeks to, put in the words of one Anthony DiNozzo "be pricked like a pin cushion." Wish me luck! ;0)


End file.
